Forgive, Love, Have Mercy, Bestow Grace Anyway.

My mind is tumbling in turmoil. What do we 'deserve' in a marriage? Do we 'deserve' what we put into it? Do we 'deserve' what we get out of it? Do we 'deserve' anything?

I keep thinking about people who give up. I have been married once before, I gave up. I am madly in love with my current husband. We have been at those 'do we give up' points in our marriage too though. What do we deserve? Jeez Louise, that is HARD. In my opinion (read that little bit twice if you need to, this is an opinion), I don't think we deserve much. Do I want to be happy? Yes. Do I want to feel loved? Yes. Do I want to be respected? Yes. Do those things always happen? BIG FAT NO!!! If I am being honest I have been super great at making my other half feel unloved, unhappy, and not respected. A lot.

We are enveloped in a society that thinks they are entitled to what they deserve. I am a good person, for the most part, I deserve something that is good most of the time. Right? . . . NEGATIVE. I believe (an opinion again) that we are challenged daily. Challenged to love someone that at times is downright unlovable, sometimes 'time' drags on and on for days, weeks, months and years. But when we entered into this contract of marriage, it was between us and God. It is super easy to leave God out of the mix, because then we feel justified for doing what was right for 'us'.

Do I condone abuse? NO. Of any sort? NO. But just for the sake of the point let's throw some Jesus in there. Did he deserve abuse? NO. Any of it? NO. Why did he do it? Love, sacrifice, mercy, grace. All for us (the abusers). Have I been the abuser in a relationship? Yes. Have I been on the receiving end? Yes. It is a big fat circle. Abuse is a small minded term because Abuse can come in all forms, physical, mental, emotional, being lied to, let down. cheated on, ignored, neglected. It is most generally ALWAYS a two way street. A two way street most of us are guilty of driving on.
Our society also likes to label one sin (abuse) as bigger than the other, so that we feel better for what we do. To the good Lord it is all sin. I heard a fantastic quote, "Lord please help me forgive those who sin differently than I do".

If you enter into a marriage, or just learn it along the way (me), that divorce isn't an option. What are you learning: You are learning to give unconditional love. You learn to sacrifice what is natural for humans for what is right by God. You learn grace. Boy do you ever learn mercy. Unconditional love, WOW, I am not even sure we are capable of that as humans. When we are wounded by someone else's sin, we want retaliation, retribution, some sort of justice so bad. So bad that we in turn commit a sin trying to get just that. Trying to get what we think we deserve. We spit on the cross. GUILTY? I know I am. That cross is forgiveness and love. NO MATTER WHAT! no matter what????? You are kidding right, no matter what?! Yes, no matter what! God is committed to you no matter what. He forgives you no matter what. He loves you no matter what. He NEVER gives up on you no matter what.

Why are we so arrogant to think that we deserve something better? That we shouldn't have to walk the same path Jesus has walked. Why do we think that we should be able to treat our marriages, our children, our friends, our family any different than God has treated us? Because we are human! Fix it, become more God like than human. More forgiving, loving, merciful, graceful, forgiving, forgiving, forgiving. (yes I put that many 'forgivings' in there for a reason, WE HAVE TO DO IT A LOT, for A LOT of reasons (all reasons).

I am going to go with Mother Teresa, "Do It Anyway".

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered: Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives: Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies: Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you: Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight: Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, the may be jealous: Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow: Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough: Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis it is between you and God: It was never between you and them anyway. 

Mother Teresa

Now I realize we can't all be Mother Teresa, but we can sure try. Never give up, Do it Anyway, even
when you want to give up. I also realize that when it comes to fixing a relationship that it really helps to have both parties involved in that reconciliation. Seriously though, we have a one sided relationship with God, He is perfect. YOU never will be, but that doesn't mean that He will give up. He WILL wait a lifetime for you. A lifetime. That means until death. You know when you quit breathing. A lifetime. All your life. He won't give up.


It is that last line of Mother Teresa's that gets me everytime. It keeps me in check. 'between you and God: It was never between you and them anyway.' When my day comes, I want to be able to say that I gave my marriage my all, my children my all, my family and friends my all. I know I will stumble. I know I will fall flat on my face, break my nose and have to walk around with two black eyes for the rest of the world to see. But I won't give up, because He won't give up on me, and it is between me and God.


Fine Print: the author of this is in no way shape or form claiming to be anywhere close to better than anyone else. As a matter of fact she thinks she is way worse. She has done things that are horrendous and unbelievable and ugly and well you get the point. She also realizes that there are people out there who will say "if that is the case, why didn't your first marriage last?" Allow me a moment for an excuse "I wasn't a Christian and I lived my life for me." I will be honest, it is an excuse. Flat out. But it is also the truth. AND God has forgiven me for that!! THANK YOU GOD! I am however a Christian now, and I won't give up ever again. I have God to help me now! I have faith in him to help me through absolutely anything. Forgive, Love, Have Mercy, Bestow Grace Anyway. Never Give Up.

Momentum Theorem- Debt Update

Never Say Never, bwahahahahahaha. I was just telling everyone how it takes me a month between posts to write again. I have even had a post about sucking at posting. I NEVER HARDLY EVER write more than one post a month. Well guess what, I am going to write two in a week!!! Take that my underachieving overactive imagination.

The Devil has been toying with Tommy and I at every imaginable time possible lately. We got excited about our tax return. Our homeowners insurance on both houses decided to cancel on us. We got ahead. Everyone in the house decided that the local Dr's and emergency room needed some financial help. We have felt amazing spiritually. Physically everyone of us has been broke down. Seems like I am being a tad bit of a whiner, bear with me though. You see everyday something has happened that we didn't plan on and we definitely didn't like. BUT. We have been living by faith. By that I mean, we have been believing not that God can do it, but that he will. You see, the insurance cancelling hasn't changed our plans one bit, we have faith that we will find replacement for both houses in time. We will still put the roof on and pay off the student loans. The Dr's visits and emergency room didn't put us behind because we have been faithfully following our budget, and there was money there for emergencies. Physically we have all recovered. I guarantee you that it is because of our spiritual health though.

I want to focus on something else for a bit: Momentum Theorem
I actually saw this written on a tablet by Tommy's computer. Which I am typing on because mine took a nosedive off the black screen deep end and has yet to recover. Stinkin devil.
Anyway, Momentum Theorem. Here is how it goes (insert drum roll) Focused intensity over Time Multiplied by God equals Unstoppable Momentum. This awesome little theorem was on one of Dave Ramsey's Cd's. Explains a ton of the genius behind it. To top it off it is pretty self explanatory.

Focused Intensity

Setting goals and working your hiney off = Focused Intensity. You HAVE to set some goals. Lots of goals. When we first started this journey toward debt freedom our goals were smallest to largest. As in smallest debt to largest. Sell this, sell that, find a way to make a little more money, QUIT WHINING about your current situation if you aren't willing to do anything about it!! That last one was my goal!! Proud moment!!! Listen though, we set those goals with the realization that we were going to have to really kick it into gear!! I mean seriously kick it in high gear. So we sold, and McDonald's was no longer my best friend, and we learned how to be a tad more content. We sold the Tahoe, the motorcycle, the pickup, stuff in the house and outside of the house. We quit using even our debit card!!! I KNOW!!!! CRAZY!!!! Only cash!! It was HORRIBLE!! And it has paid off AMAZINGLY!! Because of those little sacrifices we have seen absolutely astonishing results. We have paid off over 12k worth of debt since Nov. 4th of 2011. In about a week that number will go up to 19k and we will also put a roof on our house. We have focused intensity down!!!! We are doing what we can take that up a notch.

Over Time

Whew, wait for this!! Exciting stuff. On the Dave Ramsey website they have a debt snowball tool. I know there are other places on the web with that kind of tool as well. You input all your debt, payment amounts and interest rates, and out pops how long it will take you to pay it off. We put all our info in in November. Out popped a date of three years later being debt free!! Three years!!! Mind you this doesn't include the houses. Still, three years! I couldn't wait that long (patience is not one of my strong character traits). So we did the above and sold and I worked a few evenings and our three years has turned into less than a year and a half. In half the time of the original time frame (I am hoping for half of that ;)) we will be screaming that we are debt free. Over time. . . I have learned that you, with God's help can change what should happen into what could happen. It's amazing, I promise.

Multiplied by God

Let me just give you a run down of only a few things God has done for us since Nov. 4th. I say for us, but I think you will be excited what he is doing for others as well. We started this because of one of Tommy's co-workers. He and his wife are burning through the Dave Ramsey plan like a wildfire out of control!! They lit a fire under us! SO THANKFUL for that. God worked through them. We have paid off 12k (I know I am like a broken record). Because of that we have been able to give! We have been able to give the gift of financial education. Our church is going to have a Financial Peace University. We have been able to sponsor a little girl, send her and her family Christmas. We have been able to be content. We have been able to see that our plans were WRONG and by following God's plans we have been beyond blessed. We have Faith like never before. I haven't had a job in two years. Being a mom became a priority two years ago. We had a lot more money two years ago and a ton more debt. We live on half the income now, yet because of God's multiplied blessings, we live with almost no debt. We are literally over halfway through our debt snowball, and I give all the credit to God. We have had checks come in the mail from strangers!! Strangers!!! Do you even know how much God loves you, how he sees your struggles and wants to help. He WANTS to help!!!! I just can't get over the amount of help he will give to people.

Unstoppable Momentum

I know you have all heard most of the above before, but you need to hear some of it again. God uses us to help others. We aren't supposed to throw all our eggs in a basket and then hoard them. They will just rot and you will get sick. If you share, bless others, you can 'feed' a ton of people. Let me tell you, you benefit by that. As I have told you our church is hosting a financial peace class. The class costs around $95 to attend per couple, but because of sponsors, the class was only going to cost about $25 per couple. Get this though, Tommy called me this morning and said he was handed a personal check for $1000. They wanted to help so that no one would have to pay for this class!! Now you tell me that God doesn't work for his people!!!! How absolutely awesome is our God!! How awesome is it that there are amazing people out there that are willing to follow God's principles and that they not only are able to give but receive God's blessings

So keep that equation in mind Focused intensity over Time multiplied by God equals Unstoppable Momentum. Fi/TxGod=UM

Focus on whatever you need to work on in your life that is pleasing to God, do it with intensity, believe and have faith and through God and you will be Unstoppable!!

God Bless

Gifts and Surprises- Debt Free Update

WOWEEEEEE!!!

Never ever never ever never underestimate the power of God.

Tommy and I decided to sell the house. It is a small 2 bedroom, 1 bath home, 17 miles from our kids' school and his work. We believe we need to be closer to that area and that the rest of us deserve to use the bathroom on occasion, not just the teenager. So on the market it goes. We have looked at quite a few houses already and really have our hearts set on one in particular. We do know that we have to sell ours first. The waiting game has begun.

To top it off it is tax season!! GRRRRRR. I never enjoy tax time. We try every year to adjust our w4 so that at the end of the year we aren't hit with some lovely taxes owed to the even lovelier government, but it rarely works in our favor. Here is where it gets good . . .

Tommy listens to a Christian radio station every morning on the way to work. Every morning this past couple of weeks the radio host has challenged its listeners to say one simple prayer, adding nothing to it. He prayed, "God surprise me." That is it, but get this, Tommy only did it once!! One time, because he is obedient like that. Just kidding, kinda. He didn't tell me about this prayer until after I did our taxes.

On a cloudy, rainy, super cold and blustery day, I sat preparing our taxes. Okay, okay, it was sixty and sunny with no wind which is weird for Oklahoma. I think you understand why I used the first description though. I am itemizing like a mad woman, filling in those grueling tax forms and praying the entire time that we were going to be blessed. I could here the music from Jaws creeping into my mind, but with some lyrics. "Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest." Seriously people, once you get to know me that won't be so odd. Anyway, back to the task at hand. I finished the forms and was SHOCKED! So I checked them again, and again, and again. Three more times I looked at the numbers. Then I hollered at Tommy and said, "You are not going to believe this!! We don't have to pay in a dime this year! But honey, that isn't the unbelievable part, we are getting enough back to pay for the roof, and to pay off my student loans!" I think he thought I had been possessed. I think he was hearing the Jaws music too. I have an overactive imagination though, so he was probably just surprised.

Then he told me about the prayer. All this time I thought it was my skills. It was God!! Only he can produce miracles and that is exactly what it was.

We will pay off my student loans, put a new roof on this house, and all we will have left besides the mortgages is the car! The car was actually in our plans to pay off first, God has a way of changing our plans for the best though. The amount we will receive back this month is almost on the money to pay off those two things, and we don't believe that is a coincidence. We will still pay off the car in the next few months. We are super excited to do that, as it will be a blessing to others as well (I will fill you in on that another time).

Our church is hosting a financial peace university, and Tom and I get to be involved. We so want others to see that by following God's plans, everything falls into place the way it SHOULD be.

The Bible actually says, The borrower is a slave to the lender. Proverbs 22:7 I don't want to be a slave, I want freedom. Freedom to live like no one else and give like no one else.

Speaking of giving. We received a note in the mail. I am in tears as I type this, overwhelmed at the love of others to give. They sent us a handwritten note, blessing us for staying on track, praying for us, encouraging us to keep with our goal for debt freedom, and writing US a check to help. WOW. I don't know that there are words to thank people like that. How do you thank someone who, although they barely know you, they give unselfishly to you? I send them my prayers, thankful that God has sent us yet another gift and surprise, and knowing that God will give it back to them more than they could imagine.

So here's to those that give, and here's to those that receive, but mainly here's to those that glorify God because of it all!!